Thursday, September 20, 2012

Nerves.

Oh life, you sure do think you're funny, don't you?! Well I don't. I find you to be kind of a hateful bitch about 87% of the time. Why can't we just be friends? I'm a good friend, I promise. You just have to be nicer to me!
     I'm fixin' to go take a drug screen for a new, better-paying job (yippee!) and I'm nervous. Not because I think I won't pass. I don't do drugs so that's not a problem. But because of my last drug screen experience.
   I thought it would be a quick five minutes tops, go in take a whiz, be done kind of thing so I carpooled with some others who were running errands in Tulsa as well. We went to the clinic place first since it was South and everything else was North. Ya know how whenever you go to do one of those things you always drink a bottle of water on the way so you'll be good and ready to go when you get there? Yeah, I got distracted and forgot to do that. We got there and I didn't have to go, even a little bit. I peed before we left the house because I'm a giant dummy. So I chugged a Coca Cola. Worst soda ever. Gross. Instant tummy ache. I go in & try but still can't whiz. Drink some water, wait a while & try again. This time I did it! It was all full & I was all empty and it was a magical drug screen pee moment wheeennn guess what...I caught the jar on my shorts pulling it out from under me & spilled about half of it. I was empty. There was NO more about to come out... I then had to explain this to the people testing this sample... and the people I had carpooled with... I sent them on their way to come back for me later actually. I was so embarrassed. I drank enough water to keep a camel hydrated for a freakin' summer & stepped back into this bathroom I now considered hell and guess what! I fucking did it AGAIN! I spilled the whole damn cup! All of it! The cup literally flew out of my hand. I even got pee on my shorts. Sooooo about an hour later I tried again and didn't fuck it up this time. I actually got a high five from one of the guys who worked there. "Third time's a charm!" he said. Then I walked to a gas station half a mile away with my pee-shorts and I lost my sunglasses.
    Today has to go better than that.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Curiosity Killed the Cat. Figuratively speaking, I never had a cat.

     I think I may have fudged things up with the boy. He's all distant and such now. Maybe that's just how he rolls. Who knows? Not me, I don't know.
   Let me just explain something here though: If I am curious about something and there happens to be a poor poor soul around who I think might be able to satisfy my curiosity, I am going to ask that person and probably debate whatever answer they give me. I don't know exactly why I do that, but if they have a solid enough arguement behind their answer then bygolly that's the answer I will live by for the rest of my life and nobody will change my mind. Unless of course I go into debate mode with somebody else and they have better points on the subject, or just more entertaining ones. Such as me asking why the sky is blue and one person gives the correct scientific answer, which I find fascinating, and another person claims because there are ninjas hiding in the sky and they're so damn good at what they do the light nearly passes through them, making the sky appear blue. Ya see? Ninjas it is. It is now a fact.
    So when I'm curious and there is an answer available... I ask. Maybe it's a bit inappropriate sometimes and it tends to make people uncomfortable but I'm more of an ask someone to their face type of person than finding out from someone else. I would rather just go to the source and be done with it. For instance if I like someone a lot, I'll put myself out there completely and tell them "Hey I like you. Are you diggin' me? We could kick it more often and see if there's anything here." Or the girls who do that big poofy hair thing that I couldn't even do if I wanted to. I don't do it to offend anyone, be too forward, be pushy, or obnoxious. Just out of curiosity. I've been known to ask poofy-headed girls "Hey, what's up with the poof thang? It looks good and all but did you spend like 6 hours on it?!" It fascinates me. The reasons why people do things and their reactions, fasciniating.
     But yes, this is how I may have destroyed whatever may or may not have been with the boy. I asked where we stood and I think it made me seem suuuper pushy. So not my intention. I'm fine with courting for a decade before a relationship. All that jazz scares the bajeezus out of me. I was just wondering if maybe there could be something here. Eventually. I didn't even mean like tomorrow, or a month from now, just at some point, otherwise I'm wasting my time. I was curious about his end and since I'm not a mind reader, I asked. Oops. I suppose it'll work out if it's supposed to.
     Random tidbit: At the fair the other day ordering cotton candy the fellow working had a wonderful Austrailian accent...I may have asked him to repeat his name for me several times just so I could hear him talk. Due to me grinning like a fool every time he opened his mouth, I think he was on to me. He kept repeating it for me though, oh Johan from the fair!

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Thoughts about my life. Blah.

Just had an impromptu visit from my bestie from 170 miles away. I haven't seen him in quite a moment and his visit has made me quite chipper. Since moving August 22nd, I've missed my family and besties. The nieces this weekend was quite delightful. 2 of my favorite little ladies, I had missed them bunches. Some quality sister time & an old friend. And today seeing the bestie. It has been the bestest. Despite the twilighty stuffs. (: This chick is happy.
    In other news. I have decided that since I may have ruined things with the boy by coming accross as too pushy, which I did not mean to do at all and my nosey-ish sister may have made a trillion times worse, I'm slightly giving up. Meaning...I am backing the hell off. If he invites me over/to do something, I will surely go. If he calls, I will surely answer. If he texts, I will surely reply. Probably quickly too. I'll still send a funny picture I come across during the day or a song perhaps and comment on a facebook status if I can directly relate to it but otherwise I am initiating nothing. I do not want him to think I have forgotten about him or anything to that effect but he likes space and time so he shall have it. This is so far beyond my comfort zone it's literally giving me stomach cramps but here it goes. The fact that my heart sort of hurts & there's a lump in my throat at the thought of losing him (before I ever even had him) tells me he's worth the wait.
    Man, feelings are hard. All of this deep thought puts me in a beer-drinking mood.
Speaking of which. I decided today that for my 21st birthday, which is on a Sunday in March, I would like to buy myself a 12 pack since I will be old enough, and enjoy the day to myself. Most likely. Hopefully by then I will be sitting in my very own studio apartment and have some sort of gaming console so I can play some zombies and hopefully kick mad ass like usual. I would much rather do that than go out for my twenty-first. My goal here is basically by my twenty-first to have an apartment, have it tastefully furnished & be doing well with a bit of money in the bank. This being the reason I applied to many positions for job number two today. Job #1 is okay but the hours & the money just aren't enough. Job #2, I'm trying for full time. I'm gonna run my ass ragged. I'm excited. Hopefully I can bring in the New Year in my own apartment and hopefully this year I will have a New Year's kiss. If not, that'll be okay too.
    Happy & thoughtful today. Interesting, isn't it?

Some SuperNaturally twilight type bullstuff yo!

Okay soooo do you ever have those moments when something creepy happens like you're camping at a new place and it's all dark and floody and you realize everyone is paired up horror movie style and you start going through who would die first in your head and kind of psyche yourself out because you realize it's also the perfect setting for all of this to go down?! My sister and I definitely had one of those moments last night. Let me set the mood for you...
   It was a dark and chilly evening, the moon was hidden by the clouds, we could hear wolves howling in the distance... 
     Okay no sorry, just kidding. Actually we went to visit a friend in the hospital, a guy I haven't seen in years and who would have guessed it, he's still the bees knees. Sigh. Anyhow. Hospital. Already creepy right? Those places sketch me out somethin' fierce as it is. We went at like 9pm-ish too, so that didn't really help. So we walk in and ask the security guy "How do we get to room Eighty Seventeen" and he said "Put one foot in front of the other." Ha... ha. I appreciated it, my sister didn't. But then he told us "Go in to the elevators right behind me. Go to the eighth floor. Don't make any turns." Which was perfect direction. When we got out of the elevators on the eighth floor we turned down the hall (the only option we had) and walked straight until we got to the room we needed. Hung out, caught up, blah blah, fast forward to leaving. 
     Walked all the way down the hall to the end where the elevators were & press the down button. Get in there & it looked strange. There was another set of doors, like it was a service elevator, but there was no sign saying that's what it was. We proceeded to go to the first floor. Doors opened (Yes, it was the correct set, still facing the way we were facing originally.) and we were in the totally wrong place. If ever there was about to be a zombie apocolypse and I was panicking because I had no weapon and was completely unprepared it was this moment in time. We walked out to floor 1 and to our left were double doors with a cafeteria. To the right, a long hallway with double doors at the end, no window. We walked to the right and there were signs that said TRAUMA and another hallway that branched off and ended. It was all plain white, no border, no fancy hospital pictures on the walls, no color whatsoever. Unless you count the beige, windowless double doors. Which I don't. So uhm we walked back to the elevators and said F that noise. Oh and why were there NO people in the trauma area?! Or the cafeteria?! Despite the fact that it was 11 on a Saturday night, so I can understand there not being anyone in the dimly lit cafeteria. But it was 11 o'clock on a Saturday night and there was nobody directly in front of us where it said trauma. Or even doctors. Or anyone. No voices down the hallways even. Eek.
     Back on the elevator, we hit 2, just wanting to get the eff out of there. Still anticipating zombies. We get to 2 and the doors took forever to open (and it looked exactly the same when they finally did) so we decided to hit 8 and go back and start over buuuttt the elevator went back to floor 1. So we hit the 8 again, kind of freaked out at this point. We get back to the 8th floor & the elevators we had originally taken (directly behind the security guard on the ground floor) were like 10 feet away. Honest mistake though. We had walked all the way to the end because that's where we had come out at. We didn't know there was a second set of elevators so when we went to leave we walked all the way to the end. yeah. Anyhow. We get on these ones, the correct set, and get back down to the ground floor. Which was right this time. But here's what's weird & I'm going to try my absolute best to map it out so you understand...

    The service elevators are South of the regular. When we exited Service Vators still facing South, there was a cafeteria to our left. When we exited Regular Vators on the ground floor (putting us already north of the other vators and of the cafeteria) we had to walk North in order to get to the cafeteria... There's only ONE cafeteria on the ground floor guys. So I don't understand this twilighty other dimension bullstuff and it's really got me freaked out. Along with the fact that the only person we saw at all once we got on the elevators at all was the security gaurd we saw at the very beginning of our visit. The guy who told us not to make any turns, remember? The only turn we made ever was to get on the elevators, when we got on the wrong set. I don't know about you but that jazz is enough to weird me right the eff out. 

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Political-ish Mumbo Jumbo

     With today being September 11th and all my Facebook has been blowing up with posts about it all day. I am fully supportive of every person who lost someone in the tradgedies that took place 11 years ago, supportive of the men and women who risked their lives to save and help people and families and supportive of survivors who lived through such things. However, I find it offensive to post or like the photos that show the Twin Towers being crashed into. Someone's loved one was dying at that moment, how is liking it going to show respect?! Photos of the towers still intact as well as the pentagon or service men and women, those are respectful photos.This has been bothering me all day. 
     Another thing that really bothers me is mourning the loss on this day. What's wrong with every other day of the year as well?! I didn't lose anyone on this day but if I had I would be a little bit upset at the whole idea of remembering today. If it were my loved one I would think of them daily and not wait until just today to make that known. People get so caught up in the masses I think they forget what we're really talking about here.
    On another note. Every soldier we have lost in any war... I believe their death could have been avoided. Obviously we (The United States) and anyone we have been at war with EVER have something in common. Each individual person whose sons, daughters, husbands, and wives who have gone off to fight for our countries and not made it home... their families did not want to lose them. Why is it that our countries could not come to SOME agreement and make SOME sacrifice other than human lives?! I just don't understand. I'm not politic-savvy by any means, I tend to stay out of the whole mess. It's this philosophy about avoiding the things that hurt my heart and piss me off. But I just don't see how we find anything more important than our loved ones.. enough so to ask them to sacrifice their lives. It will never really make sense to me.

SIGH!!

Single Life = One Big Partay! Whoo!

Once again I have Xs on my hands -As in, oh gee hey look I'm STILL not 21, don't serve me a drink. Don't you do it! Oh and if you see me drinking from across the room you will surely notice the big ass Xs from tonight and every other night ever because they're damn near impossible to scrub off!!- and woke up with a sty in my left eye. Ouch.

 I was up until past 4am. Why?! I hate these late nights.
 I'm twenty and single so I should be out drinking, having a good time, and making bad choices. Or so everyone else my age seems to think.Which is probably the reason I tend to find myself with an older crowd the majority of the time... Sure, single life is fun. I can do what I want, when I want, with no consequences, (responsibly), and have nobody to answer to. Which at times is really cool. I have a lot of guy friends and at any given time can do as I please such as going to dinner or movies, roadtrips, etc. without worrying about it being perceived wrong but at the end of the night I'm still going home alone. No, I'm not promiscuous. I lay in my bed. Alone. If I share a bed with a friend rather than drinking and driving, which I do a lot, we use separate blankets and stick to our own sides. Anyhow. Point being. As I was laying in bed at 5 am, still awake... I was thinking about how tired of all of this I am. I miss having someone to check in with when I'm out with my friends. I would love having someone to come home to. I would enjoy having a partner to be excited with me when something good happens at work, when instead I have nobody significant to share it with. I'm young but I would much rather be in bed by 11, midnight if I'm feelin' crazy, and up by 8 at the latest to start my day.
Picture perfect day: 
-Day starts around 7:30. Tell my fella good morning & wish him a good day.
- Straighten up the house, do some light chores.
- Head off to work.
-Come home to my fella: Cook dinner, play some video games/watch a movie/whatevs & drink a couple beers if it's been a long day.
- Head off to bed all cuddled up, feeling cozy and secure.
-Do it all again.
Instead it's work, go out with friends, drink in excess, listen to people be dramatic, eat out, blah blah.
I'm tired of being alone I guess.
More than that though...I was fine with being by myself, enjoying it actually, until I met my fella. The one I just haven't made mine yet. He provokes all these feelings of wanting to be with somebody and I'm not sure it'll happen. Which is probably the reason for the ridiculous loneliness all the sudden.
So I'm thinking I need one of these doodads!!

How sweet, right?! It could definitely replace the gagillion pillows I sleep with every single night. Realistically, I sleep with four pillows. And none of them go under my head. I can't sleep with a pillow under my head at all. I'll put it on top of my face though, or lay on my stomach and have a pillow covering the back of my head. I don't know why. It's weird. I'm weird. Oh well. Point being. If I had one of these super comfy looking doodads, I would be comfy and content. Yeah buddii. 

Well I'm off for now. Brennan and Booth are calling me to the television set and I had probably make myself look decent-ish because I have a feeling around 9o'clock I'll be recieving a "Let's finish this bottle tonight!" kind of text. To which I will reply something along the lines of "I'm there. Do I have to put on pants?" Which I will regaurdless because there is a 50/50 chance of this super-studly cutie with perty blue eyes being there who I would never even consider touching but would like to catch checking me out at least once so I don't feel so creeper-weird for appreciating his looks ever so muchly. Oh those blue eyes get my attention every time!!


Monday, September 10, 2012

20 going on 65

I am officially old. It's true. I'm the oldest 20 year old you'll ever meet. It's kind of ridiculous. Part of me finds it humorous and part of me is a little bummed. Is this really how I want to spend my twenties?!

Let me just lay out my weekend for you so you can get a good idea of what the eff I'm talking about!
Friday: Got off work at 9pm, went home & went to bed. 
Saturday: Woke up around 9 am. Lounged around until work. Got off work at 9pm.
                 Went to a family shindig where I was designated driver.
                     -Not really family but my dad came into town and was at a buddys house who I have                     known since before I could walk. People I grew up with and such so I had to make a special    guest appearance because they all love me and I love them and uhm yeah.
                 Left the family shindig around 11 to head to the bar where I was designated driver.
                 Left the bar for the boy's house, where I was designated driver.
Yay for being responsible!!
Sunday: Hung out with the boy until around noon 
                  -Discovered that my hip is out of place. That's pretty normal for me actually though.   Usually it's the left one though and I'm not quite sure how to pop the right one back in yet.
              Rode on my Dad's Harley out to lunch. More family time.
              Home to do laundry and scrapbook.
Today: Since I didn't have to work until 3pm, my internal clock decided to wake me at 7am.
             Treated myself to Taco Bell where I totally caught some guy checking me out right after he totally caught me checking out his car. -Would it have been wrong of me to give him my number so I could have a chance at riding in his sweet 60something Chevelle?! I didn't. It looked as though he was selling it. He wasn't bad looking though. I totally would've pimped myself out on a date in an attempt to drive that car just once.
             Pirates of the Caribbean rules.

Sooooo to recap: My weekend was spent being designated driver and Sunday Funday, the day I could have drank and had some fun, I did laundry, scrapbooked and had an out-of-place hip. Do I sound 20 or 65 to you?!?!

Oh and on a sidenote. Riding across town on the back of a Harley and back with an out of place hip will surely make you want to shoot yourself in the face. I would not suggest it. On the list of unfunnest things to do ever it's probably in the top five. AND motorcycles scare the bajeezus out of me anyway. As well as bridges and heights. Even in a car.So I was half way panicattacking about every 5 minutes. That was my excitement for the weekend.